At least, seemingly right? Why Do We Love “Strangers” More Passionately Than The Family We Inherit? I know for some people that is not the case. But I feel like for a far majority of us, ’cause there is so much of us that, our previous generations didn’t get it right at all, they didn’t get it quite right, or they did the worst thing really well and the best thing really bad.
It could be any number of people you inherit and not one person might understand you. This is due to what they inherited as well. Especially for those of us who are POC. My family especially being from the Caribbean. I wholeheartedly believe that the Millennials of today are still dealing with the trickled down effects of slavery. Now millennials are having babies and if we are not careful we will transfer all these traits onto our children. You are rambling Germaine, what is your point? I believe we love strangers more passionately than the family we inherit because the process of getting to know each other is so much shorter than the time we spent being raised. So, imagine it took you 20+ years to develop into the person you know and sometimes love. You are out in the world now. You love your family for who they are and hopefully the love and support they provided you.
For me, it took growing with my parents/guardians to understand how they became the people I thought failed me so thoroughly. The people I looked up to and mirrored were actually worse off than me. They are mostly broken with no peace in sight, and I refused to be here in my 30s.
Here comes a stranger she has a beautiful smile, educated, well spoken, gets your jokes and makes you laugh. Most people can arrive at these conclusions from a quick profile read and a date versus 20 years. The sheer momentum of getting to know someone that you feel compatible with fills us with so much emotion that once we decided to keep that person around, show them love, and love them we are Usain Bolt full speed ahead into the relationship.
They didn’t chastise you, make you go to bed early, decide what vegetables you must eat. Tell you where to be, what to do, who to hang out with. You harbor no negative feelings consciously or subconsciously because well they are new.
There are just so many complexities to family and how we inherit their mindsets and mannerisms. We mirror them all too well. Now that something has shifted inside of me I have more compassion for the people around. I understand how they themselves feel as though their parents/guardians failed them as well. How they are stuck in the cycle by choice or force.
What we often overlook our contempt and sadness can affect how we process the emotions of others, our own emotions, and the decisions that we make. I’m considering this because I think I get it now, the levels.
There is a level of strict that Caribbean parents have developed that is much worse than any of these kids today, especially in America, will ever know and they should all bow at our feet because we literally took the blunt end of the stick for them. Unknowingly of course. Lol joshing. This deep-rooted level of old-time beliefs has made our previous generations stubborn. They restricted our social experiences. You can’t hang out with so and so because I said so. Or maybe you got an explanation, lucky you. You can’t hang out with so and so because they get in this and that kind of trouble.
But when you are out in the world and you are experiencing life and you are meeting people. Experiencing new things with them. When you are realizing how different your childhoods were. You realize there is so much more to experience, and to be done, and to have even at 29. There is still so much more.
However, if you are much younger and you reading this. I would tell you to live fearlessly do everything you can to free your mind from negative thoughts. At least a majority positive inner monologue and live as fearlessly as possible. Put yourself out there, there are more people in the world who will genuinely love, cherish, and support you than you know or will believe right.
Think about the decisions you are making and really think, hey in 5 years or 10 years am I going to regret this day? tomorrow? however many days you get offered the same thing and still say no? Keep that in mind. Think positive live life fearlessly. Fear is what I had a battle with yesterday and Fear Won.